Save (or Ruin) Thanksgiving By Serving These Five Conversation StealersNovember 24, 2016
- Bernice EscobarWords
Thanksgiving may not be Filipino tradition, but if your family insists on looking like the Belchers, get ready for another round of awkward questions. “Uy tumataba ka ah!” exclaims Tita Baby to your embarrassment. “Kailan ang kasalan?” asks your recently married cousin at the first family event you invited the new beau to. This time, instead of sidestepping questions and blending into the shadows of lola’s house, we have a better alternative: serve your guests our weirdest recipes. From our beer battered brains to Rachel Green’s thanksgiving trifle, the family’s conversation will definitely be about the food on this holiday menu. The only question you’ll get this year is “What is… this?”
1. Beer Battered Brains
Start the fun with beer battered brains. These morsels pair well with Tito Bhoy’s pilsen or with lolo’s wine. Feel like a culinary whiz as you explain how you made it, while avoiding questions on why you haven’t graduated yet.
Tito wants more brains? Send him our recipe after you make sure he’s not patient zero of the zombie apocalypse.
2. Beef Skin Soup
You’ve heard your lola tell the story of her fabled 22-inch waistline before, but this time, she’s staring at your muffin top. (Which looks more like a popover these days.) Some Beef Skin Soup may fortify your bravado, at least according to Chinese medicine.
Were the Chinese doctors right? In that case, make some more Beef Skin Soup! Just multiply this recipe by ten.
3. Ramen Gnocchi with Cheez Whiz and Shrooms
Our riff on David Chang’s recipe is perfect for those who are looking for mac and cheese. Your “sophisticated” cousin fresh from her euro-trip may scoff at a plate of these processed cheese-laden ramen gnocchi, but we all know that everything tastes better with Cheez Whiz.
Did the extra Cheez Whiz change your cousin’s mind? If it did, link her to this recipe.
4. Hainanese Rice Stuffed Chicken
Though this recipe doesn’t rank high on the spectrum of weirdness, we suggest using the chicken to hide your rice. Your mom’s second cousin’s daughter’s crossfit buff boyfriend doesn’t need to see your hand slinking towards the platter of white rice. Let him think you’re getting another serving of the pre-approved Hainanese chicken, when it’s really the flavored rice you’re after.
Slip our recipe into your mom’s second cousin’s bag as you hug goodbye and whisper “payload has been dropped” as you pull away.
5. Rachel’s Thanksgiving Trifle
Mom’s fruit salad has nothing on Rachel Green’s trifle. Before bunso insists on having his usual sundae, make sure to give everyone a heaping serving of trifle. As Joey said, “What’s not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Beef, GOOD!” we’re sure your Thanksgiving is going to be just as good, maybe even better now that you’ve avoided the usual awkwardness.
No one might want Rachel’s trifle recipe, because they think it tastes like feet–we’re looking at you, Ross–but just in case you’re related to Joey Tribbiani here’s the recipe.