Get Fat January: A New Year’s Resolution That You Can Actually Look Forward to Doing

December 31, 2016

It is exhausting trying to keep up with the indefatigable Kayla Itsines and her daily workout guide. And I’m sick of setting health goals at the start of the year, only to end up desperately driving to Sweet Ecstasy at 11pm for a quarter pounder (with a side of fried pickles and a milkshake, please) only two weeks into my new year goals because I feel starved for something with sodium and gluten.

So for 2017, I’ve decided not to set myself up for failure. This January, I’m tossing aside the #fitnessgoals in favor of something much for fulfilling (emphasis on filling) and fun. Forget “Get Fit January.” Hello, Get Fat January. I’ve rounded up the gooey-est, heaviest, most extra recipes from 2016 to embrace my roundest self. Because if January is to the whole year what Monday is to the whole week, I’d like to skip the dull part please.

Clover Chip Crusted Mac n’ Cheese


The cheeto-crusted craze hit full-throttle in 2016. We decided to get our favorite cheese flavored local chip to crust up and deep fry a childhood staple: mac n’ cheese. Because you can never have too much cheese. This meal is your childhood, amplified.

Rum & Coke Waffles


Though not all of us like to brush our teeth with a bottle of Jack, a little rum with breakfast sounds like a surefire way to start your day turnt. Or at least, with extra pep in your step. This recipe lightens your waffles with cola and glazes it with a homemade rum syrup.

Peppered Chocolate Cake


An ode to Roald Dahl’s most popular book-turned-movie, the Bruce Bogtrotter Chocolate Cake scene resonates as a brave and inspiring clapback moment for the 90’s generation. Now bake this whole cake and wolf it down to celebrate the new year. If Bruce can do it in one sitting, so can you.

Tablea Adobo


There must be some truth to the adage that chocolate makes everything better. Take your most commonly cooked home dish and toss in your most commonly drunk Christmas drink (you won’t be needing that tablea anymore anyway), and you got a Mexican Mole-inspired spin on 2 local favorites.

A total of 4 delicious recipes, one to learn every week of my Get Fat January challenge. Because cooking is as best a resolution to take on this year as any.

I’m advocating the New Year’s Resolution that you can actually commit to, with glee; one that makes you feel accomplished instead of ashamed; that leaves you feeling full and satisfied instead of empty and deprived. Let’s raise our salt shakers to the new year. Who’s with me?

Bea Osmeña SEE AUTHOR Bea Osmeña

Bea Osmeña is a healthy-ish eater who is just as likely to take you to a vegan joint as she is to consume a whole cheese pie to herself. A former picky eater, Bea has discovered the joys of savory fruit dishes, but still refuses to accept pineapples on her pizza. On the rare occasion you catch her without food in her mouth, you are likely to find her looking at books she can't afford, hugging trees, or talking to strange animals on the street.

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