Entertainment

6 Fake Apps for Food Chaps

May 31, 2020

Food apps can do everything. Well, almost everything. One app lets you keep track of your favorite restaurants (which you can also do on a notepad). Another transforms your phone into a timer when you’re cooking (which you can also do with the clock in your phone). And there’s this one app that locates vegan restaurants, marking establishments that serve foie, sharks fin, and veal as no-no places (which you can also use in reverse in case you’re looking for some foie). So here, for your enjoyment, are some apps with a little more fun and utility (which are entirely fake).

1. Insta-surface

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What it is: Photo editor that creates surfaces for your food shots.

What it’ll do for you: Face to face with nicely plated dish but just can’t stand that plaid tablecloth? The app creates surfaces like wood, marble, blank white paper so that Instagram photo gets the respect it deserves. Don’t forget that hashtag.

Fake Review: “You’ve never really appreciated good food photography until you’ve shot a Big Mac on a granite surface. I couldn’t afford granite so thank you, Insta-surface!”

2. Third Wave

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What it is: Design your very own hipster cafe.

What it’ll do for you: Plot out and layout every subway tile, every Edison bulb, and stuffed animal head—because hipster cafes are all about interior design. Create perfect environment for drinking that flat white.

Fake Review: “I made a cafe that looks exactly like my living room! Next month’s update lets you turn a portion of the cafe into a specialty shoelace store. I can’t wait!”

3.  Feeder

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What it is: Hook-up app based on food.

What it’ll do for you: Think Tinder but instead of photos of the person, the app only features food that the person can cook. Cup noodles? Swipe left. Boeuf bourguignon? Then swipe that baby right! Matches are made when both parties like each other’s cooking.

Fake Review: “I met the girl I’m currently dating on Feeder. I was impressed with her adobo and apparently she was impressed with my nilaga. We’ve both gained a combined 80 pounds since we started going out.”

4. Barista Bot

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What it is: Coffee strategy game similar to Diner Dash.

What it’ll do for you: Grow as a barista by knowing and memorizing the different coffee beverages you’ll need to make for your customers. Know the difference between a latte and a macchiato; or what goes into a melange; and how many shots are there in a trippolo.

Fake Review: “It was a struggle getting my barista from pop up to cafe. I spent hours on this game. I would try to make the types of coffee I learned but I’m too busy playing.”

5. Faux Restaurateur

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What it is: Chef progression game similar to Kim Kardashian.

What it’ll do for you: Know how to become a chef from the bottom up. Start as a dishwasher, working your way to line cook and eventually reach the top of the food chain as a celebrity chef—making restaurants all over the world, date actresses, and star in your very own TV show.

Fake Review: “I’ve been playing for quite some time now but I keep losing to drug addiction and anger issues before I become a celebrity chef. Fun times!”

6. Cooks vs Trendies

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What it is: Food defense game similar to Plants vs Zombies.

What it’ll do for you: Protect your five-star restaurant from food trends by making everyone in the kitchen. Discover the different roles such as the saucier and the grillardin as they fight outdated food trends—kale, cronuts, and red velvet, just to name a few.

Fake Review: “I love the little intricacies in the game like how the garde-manger easily beats kale and how the patissier is able to fend of cronuts.”

Any more ideas for fake food apps? Which of the fake food apps above would you like to have in real life? Sound off with a comment below!

Miguel Ortega SEE AUTHOR Miguel Ortega

Miguel once worked for a bank before realizing words did so much more for him than numbers ever could (because if you can't dazzle with brilliance, you sure can baffle with bullshit). He has since gone on to write regular articles for Rogue magazine and video scripts for large-scale corporations, on top of working as a communications associate.

1 comments in this post SHOW

One response to “6 Fake Apps for Food Chaps”

  1. Volts Sanchez says:

    Hehehe. Nice. I’d love a real Insta-surface, honestly 😉

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