Dothraki Blood Pie: Fit for a Khal and KhaleesiOctober 2, 2018
- Mikka WeeWords
In HBO’s Game of Thrones, nothing inspires as much fear and dread among the Free Cities of Essos as the sight of a Dothraki khalasar approaching on the horizon. After all, why shouldn’t everyone be terrified of an entire warrior culture that’s prone to in-fighting, does not practice agriculture, disdains the use of armor, lacks any real long-ranged military capability (no archers in the show, and even in the books they’re rare), has no other troops aside from a light cavalry that also inexplicably treats their mount as their main food source, and goes catatonic at the mere mention of the beach? I mean, seriously, the hell are they supposed to do against castles? Throw horse poop at them? Tempt the knights to come out through their kinky wedding parties? Whatever, at least they gave us a fight scene so badass and testosterone-filled that girls are cautioned against watching it, lest they inadvertently grow chest hair.
Also called horselords, the Dothraki’s lives revolve around their horses. Everyone is expected to ride, and no Khal can rule who cannot mount his own stallion. Even pregnant ladies are expected stay in the saddle until the little guy in their belly is ready to drop out. Anyone who’s physically unable to ride their own horse is treated as the lowest of the low, thought to be no better than a slave with no honor and pride of their own.
When Dany went to town on that raw horse heart that one time, she was just upholding a long-standing Dothraki tradition of constantly eating their four-legged special friends. They prefer horsemeat to pork and beef, and eat it almost exclusively. Even their booze is derived from their steeds; they’re partial to a fermented mare’s milk that I imagine must taste really nasty.
Real Dothraki blood pies, made from real horses, are a particularly common dish. Pies keep and travel well, a necessity for a nomadic people. It also serves as a pretty convenient way to use and preserve the calorie and nutrient-dense horse blood that would otherwise go to waste. Fortunately, our version of Dothraki blood pies are nowhere near as metal as those, I’m almost seventy-four percent certain ours don’t contain any ponies.
And while our Blood Pie does not include any horse meat, it does have ground lamb, bone marrow, and Morcilla sausages stuffed with congealed pig’s blood. Despite its uninspiring appearance, this pie’s earthy, full-bodied filling will make you speak in (Dothraki) tongues. A finishing dash of Sriracha makes this a fiery tribute to the bloody bodies of those who tried to invade this fearsome clan of horselords.
Dothraki Blood Pie
Total Time: 90 minutes / Yield: 18 pies
Ingredients for the Crust
- 4 cups flour
- 1 tsp salt
- 1/2 cup cold butter, cut into small cubes
- 1/2 cup ice-cold water
- 2 eggs, chilled
Ingredients for the Filling
- 150g ground lamb
- 150g Morcilla sausages, removed from casing
- 1/2 cup chopped caramelized onions
- 1/4 tsp garlic powder
- 1/4 cup cubed bone marrow
- Salt and pepper to taste
- Oil for deep-frying
- Sriracha, as a condiment
Procedure for the Crust
- First, prepare crust. In a bowl, beat together the eggs and ice-cold water. Set aside in the chiller.
- In another bowl, put flour and salt, and then whisk together.
- Mash the butter using a pastry blender or a big fork. It should resemble coarse crumbs.
- Pour in egg mixture, and incorporate with a fork until well-combined. Make sure not to overmix (so that you will have a flaky crust).
- When it clumps up, turn it over onto a floured surface. Knead with your hands until flour gets incorporated.
- Divide into two and form into balls. Wrap each ball in plastic and chill for at least 60 minutes.
Procedure for the Filling
- In a bowl, combine ground lamb, sausage, onions, garlic powder, and bone marrow.
- Season with salt and pepper. Be careful with seasoning since the sausage is already seasoned.
- Mix until mixture is well-combined and seasoning is well-distributed. Keep in the chiller until ready to use.
- On a lightly floured surface, roll out dough to 1/8” thick. Using a round 3” diameter cutter, cut rolled dough into discs.
- Fill each disc with a teaspoonful of filling. Do not overfill so that it doesn’t burst.
- Fold in half and press well onto the ends. Crimp the edges of the pie.
- Repeat with the rest of the dough and filling.
- Once all of the pies are done, keep in the chiller for 15 minutes.
- When they are ready, heat oil over low flame. We’re using low flame so as not to burn the crust, and at the same time, cook the filling through.
- Deep fry chilled pies for 4-5 minutes. Repeat for the other remaining pies.
- Drain oil in paper towels and serve with Sriracha drizzled over.
- You can grind your own lamb, or use Santis lamb burger. Beef is also a good substitute for this dish. You can also prepare the crust and filling a night before and just assemble in the morning.