If you’re sulking because you’re spending the Hallmark holiday alone, you shouldn’t be. Live your best life, and treat yo self (yes, that’s a Parks and Rec reference). No one else spends as much time with you, or has seen you at the worst of your worst, than the one in the mirror. Buy yourself cliché chocolates and a card if you have to. Do you.
We urge you to celebrate yourself by making the richest, stinkiest bowl of noodles ever. Now’s your chance to eat an ungodly amount of garlic without worrying about offending someone, so go all-out and make this American-Chinese hybrid from scratch. After all, these are the only noods you’ll be getting tonight, so make things as obscene as possible—add butter like no one’s watching.