6 Local Aphrodisiacs to Spice Up Your Valentine’s Date

August 21, 2018

An unforgettable night for you and your lover looms ahead. The skies are clear and starry outside your window. A few candles light the room, their dim light casting your sexy silhouettes on the walls. The mild scent of vanilla fills the air, and Robin Thicke’s sultry voice softly croons in the background.

The mood is almost set.

This is no night for McDonald’s Delivery, and you want more than just the cliché combo of chocolates and wine. Tonight calls for more exciting options for the taste buds (and other body parts, besides). So, you might want to look into a curious but promising lineup of delicious nibbles that can really turn up the heat (literally):

1. Oysters

Aside from their physical resemblance to the female genitalia, oysters are rich in zinc and iron. The former increases sperm count, and the latter revs up physical endurance. It is even said that the legendary adventurer and womanizer Casanova consumed 60 oysters a day, just to keep his already legendary libido up. Check out our easy recipe for Oysters Rockefeller. That should get you both in the mood.

2. Chili Peppers

No aphrodisiac mimics the sensation of heated sexual passion as instantly as red hot peppers. These little monsters can make your body release endorphins, which cause an energizing, pleasurable thrill. With just a little dose, they can increase your body temperature and heart rate, and plump up your kissable lips. Talk about literally spicing up your night.

3. Balut

One of the things our country is famous (notorious) for is the fetal duck egg, also known as balut. It is usually sold in the streets late at night, or served alongside beer (alcohol + fertilized duck embryo = double the horny tendencies). This premature duck fetus supposedly makes your joints stronger (better flexibility!), and equips you with better stamina. So, if you’re feeling jittery on your date or just exhausted from the day’s stress, fire up the passion with some unborn baby ducks, perfectly paired with salt or vinegar, or cooked Adobo-style.

4. Avocado

If a pair of avocados dangling side by side in a tree doesn’t remind you of a scrotum, you probably have no idea what human testicles look like. In fact, the oily fruit’s name comes from the word ahuacatl, the Aztec word for “testicle tree”.

But this alone didn’t give the avocado its street cred when it comes to boosting libido. This man-ball-resembling fruit is packed with beta-carotene, magnesium, and Vitamin E—all of which are nutrients integral to potent, satisfying sex. Avocados also contain huge amounts of potassium and protein, which both make for, err, happier endings.

5. Cobra

According to the old folk, the ultimate measure of one’s manhood is not in the number of babies he can father, but in the number of snakes he can kill. In Southeast Asian countries like the Philippines, cobra meat (cooked in an Adobo dish) and blood are traditionally consumed to inflame a man’s sex drive. However, a boy becomes a man when he can capture and kill a serpent on his own, and drink its blood straight from the venomous reptile’s body. Yummm…

6. Bull Testicles

Rumored to be more potent than Viagra, Bull Balls Soup (or “Soup No. 5” in the vernacular) is a distinctly Filipino libido-enhancer. The bull testicles are cooked in a stew with beef broth and vegetables. The dish is then paired with rice, like your regular Sinigang, and it also comes in the form of beer. Folklore claims that consuming something that resembles, or is, a reproductive organ transfers the sexual potencies of the object to the diner. But forget about the testosterone that once filled these bull balls, because the cooking process eliminates the hormones anyway. Still, you’ve probably got a big pair if you can bite into these spongy animal-members without flinching!


Which of these peculiar passion-enhancers are you willing to try?

 

[photos via getty images]
[balut photo via Tangled Noodle]
[thumbnail via Organic Authority]

Addi dela Cruz Addi dela Cruz

Addi writes nonfiction that reads like fiction and fiction that isn't meant for children. He lives for breakfasts, getting new stamps on his passport, and perfecting his yoga tree pose. In between episodes of MasterChef and Hannibal, he dreams of owning a café that would serve the best hot chocolate in the South and have 12 tables at most.

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9 comments in this post SHOW

9 responses to “6 Local Aphrodisiacs to Spice Up Your Valentine’s Date”

  1. I never thought avocados looked liked balls – until now. Can’t unsee.

  2. D Camacho says:

    When you said cobra, the energy drink first came to my mind.:))

  3. OH MY GOD I WAS LAUGHING WHILE READING HAHA love this!

  4. Vinnie says:

    Giggling… in a naughty way…. 😉

  5. […] tendons, coagulated blood, and testicles. (Okay, the testicles are optional, and only if you’re looking to put you and your partner in the mood.) The meat is served in a broth of kamias, ginger, garlic, onion, fish sauce, and—as if there […]

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