5 Food Items to Lard Up A Broken HeartAugust 21, 2018
- Sarah de JoyaWords
You just got dumped. The so-called love of your life has probably erased all your sweet memories in an instant, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth (and heart).
Well, we here at Pepper.ph can’t exactly satisfy your cravings for revenge. We don’t know any hired guns that can off the darn bastard or she-devil for you. What we can do, however, is fill that gaping hole in your heart with—you guessed it—food!
Here’s a list of our top five picks that go perfectly well with servings of self-pity.
Ah, sweets are the ultimate breakup food.
Take your cue from the countless broken-hearted chick flick heroines. Nothing screams “miserable” more than finishing a pint of ice cream, a box of chocolate, and/or a whole pie by yourself.
So, go for it. Eat Nutella or Cookie Butter straight from the jar, and feel free to lick it clean afterwards.
Screw your ex! Screw your diet!
Have this popular comfort food delivered right to your door, and let your taste buds snuggle up in blankets of oily cheese and pillows of soft, fluffy dough. It’ll be one sweet night in with a family-sized Cheesy Volcano Pizza that will always give you some hot, molten, cheesy lovin’.
3. Red Meat
If you’re possessed with the urge to inflict great physical pain on your ex, vent your anger on a slab of meat instead. Tear, slice and stab away. At this point, anything that resembles blood is good and this way, you don’t risk life imprisonment for that frigging *toot!*.
Drown anything and everything in thick, buttery KFC gravy.
That brown, heavenly gunk never fails to make stuff more delicious and seem better than they actually are (like really bland British food. And your current break-up).
5. Sisig & Beer
Are you sick of wallowing by yourself?
Have your friends come over and pig out on rounds of sisig and beer!
Nothing helps you get over a break-up better than a night with friends as you take turns bashing and cursing your exes over bottles of booze and sizzling plates of pork.
Remember, time will heal your broken little heart. But at this point, if you can’t fill your heart with love, fill it with lard. That ought to deaden the pain (or your heart) for a while.