Pizza Week: Too Much of Joel Darwin’s Fat Bitch Will Probably Turn You into One

By Mikka Wee/November 28, 2012

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During the day, Joel Darwin juggles two insanely demanding jobs: one as a corporate trainer in a BPO, and another as part-owner of Natural Selection Design Co. with his wife, Marla. Given that background, maybe that’s why Joel named his pizza “The Fat Bitch”—the crossbreed between a long, tiring day, and the need to have something wickedly greasy in your mouth.

But Joel clarifies this silly assumption of mine by telling us the story behind the real “Fat Bitch” (don’t worry, it doesn’t involve females, may they be humans or dogs).

“This pizza was based on my love for deli meat. The main ingredients were a part of a special order deli sandwich I used to enjoy during my undergrad days in Philadelphia, PA. The sandwich was called the ‘Fat Bastard’ and was only available after midnight to cater to the beer-forged appetites of the drunken masses stumbling back to their dorms. I always thought it would make for an amazing pizza, especially now, with the creation of pizza cones and sandwiches.”

The Fat Bitch uses wheat pizza dough as a frail attempt to counter the fatty food on top: Poco Deli’s Wagyu Sausages and Bacon, Buffalo Chicken Popcorn, Bleu Cheese, and Ranch Dressing. It’ll make you forget that Meat Lovers Pizza ever existed as this devilish deli pizza’s toppings hog the spotlight.

“I’m not partial to the thin crusts or gourmet pizza places that are popping up everywhere these days. I like my pizza chewy, foldable, and loaded with cold cuts, meats, and sausages,” Joel shares. That said, he tells us about Chef Gusto’s (formerly Nectar) in Legaspi Village, Makati where he gets his pizza fix. “They offer a really thick and chewy, deep dish, 20′ Parma Ham pizza. Top stuff.”

But despite all the heavy, meaty stuff that goes into Joel’s pizza idea, a part-time job as a seafood cook made him realize that his favorite grub is Asian seafood. Palawan crab soaked in garlic sauce and beans, to be exact. Despite his share of travels, Joel still fawns over our local fare as the best seafood in the world—and we couldn’t agree more.

Being an ultimate Frisbee player in a former life, Joel is currently in search for a new hobby that involves some sort of exercise. Say what?! Right now, he enjoys collecting records with his wife, as well as tinkering with models on Google Sketchup. Given the means and the time, he would get into diving or deep-sea fishing. For someone who loves seafood that much, we are not one bit surprised.

Joel Darwin’s Fat Bastard

Total Time: 30 minutes / Yield: 3-4 servings

Ingredients for the Fat Bastard Pizza

  • 1 ready-to-cook wheat pizza dough
  • 1/2 cup basil tomato sauce
  • 1/3 cup buffalo chicken popcorn (recipe below)
  • 4 slices bacon
  • 3/4 cup pizza mix cheese
  • 8 slices Wagyu sausage
  • 2 tbsp bleu cheese
  • 3 tbsp ranch dressing

Ingredients for the Buffalo Chicken Popcorn

  • Chicken breast
  • Salt and pepper
  • Cornstarch
  • Frank’s buffalo sauce

Procedure for the Buffalo Chicken Popcorn

  1. Cut chicken breast into cubes.
  2. Season with salt and pepper.
  3. Form into balls and coat with cornstarch.
  4. Fry until cooked or light brown in color.
  5. Toss in melted butter and buffalo wing sauce mixture.

Assembly

  1. Spread tomato sauce on ready made wheat pizza dough.
  2. Top with cheese.
  3. Arrange bacon slices.
  4. Top with Wagyu sausage, buffalo chicken popcorn, and crumbled blue cheese.
  5. Bake for 5-6 minutes on top rack until cheese melts and pizza has brown edges.

Mikka Wee

Managing Editor / Writer

Mikka Wee’s goal is to travel the world with a backpack stuffed with her books and not much of an itinerary. With an appetite thrice the size of her 5-foot frame, waffles are the one thing that makes her weak in the knees. She also likes to torture herself with sci-fi movie marathons until her brain turns into goop. Her list of not-so-secret culinary crushes includes David Chang, Ivan Orkin, Rene Redzepi, and Anthony Bourdain. Alexander Supertramp is her hero. See More.

  • http://twitter.com/natzisnuts Natalie Arciga

    mouthwatering! :)

  • Ramon Rocha IV

    only 4 slices of bacon? but whyyyyy