“I don’t want to talk with non-drinkers!” thinks every person you find in a head-banging, butt-bumping party.
And this is the exact reason why you, Mr. Non-Drinker have to always desperately reach for your run-down pocket guide, The Lamest Drinking Excuses Anyone Can Pull Off, which include the hit lines “I’m driving so I’ll pass!” or the ever-so-famous, “I’m allergic to alcohol!”
But here’s some good news: we’ve got a weapon for you to get you to pretend like you’re cool without actually being cool!
We’d like to introduce our very own Faux Strawberry Champagne.
Of course, champagne is no Cognac. (It’s just not cool enough.) If you really want to go full cool and project The Godfather, then make sure you drink this with a half-cocked 9mm loaded pistol in your left hand.
Also, if you’ll notice, strawberries aren’t’ the manliest of fruits. But for another bit of good news, realize that this specific reddish-pink hue adds more color to your cheeks, thus fully authenticating your ruse!