Whether it’s to make sipsip to your boss, or to make libre your friends; sometimes, you just have that urge to stupidly spend a shocking sum for supper.

This is why we’ve decided put together an all-new series that celebrates the most grandiose monkey of Philippine society, the Philippine Coño. Dubbed the Coño Kitchen, this is a space that cannot possibly contain any more popped collars, hipster glasses and platinum credit cards.

For this recipe, we’re featuring something that won’t get you an “A” in your Spanish exam, but will teach you some Spanish.

This dish’s fish’s sumptuous flavour, coupled with the tart Brussels sprouts and hints of salt from the bacon will have your mouth generously spewing tanginas from how good it is. In other words, pare, this dish will make you swear in Spanish. Your grandparents will be proud.

Good for you, dear coño, is that this dish is very much available at the Coño’s official neighborhood grocery, Santi’s Delicatessen. For just a measly two thousand four hundred per kilo, it’s a complete and utter steal.

And since I wasted the last 3 minutes of your life introducing Coño Kitchen, I’ll let you go ahead. Go na, make luto na.